The Monk Bought Lunch

I feel like buying flowers and hiring a celestial choir

Pope visits Blue Mosque in Turkey, declares it his favorite Lou Reed album.

is there a person who does things in the house?

If so, will you make me a t-shirt that has a picture of Michael Richards and says "I don't even wear t-shirts. That's what's so insane about this!".
Or would it be better without the picture?

good news/bad news?

Bad news: Orders for manufactured goods plunge

Good News?:
Orders for spontaneously self-manifesting goods hold steady.

This headline makes me want to do a Rodney Dangerfield impression

5-way kidney swap performed at Hopkins

Jeez, is this an operatin' room or Plato's Retreat? I tell ya, if I'd a known surgery could be this much fun I'd a stayed alive longer! Look at the kidneys on her! Hey toots, I'd like to vent your spleen...

left behind?

When I was a kid, we took these reading comprehension tests once a year. If my memory serves me, these tests always included one passage about a guy who goes back to his old neighborhood and notices that the old familiar landmarks look smaller.
Pssst! They were testing to see if you'd figure out that they looked smaller 'cause the guy had gotten bigger!
I always thought it was strange that they seemed to give us the same test allatime. I get the feeling Our Preznit would probably, year after year, choose the multiple choice answer that said the tree in the guy's yard actually shrank since he'd last visited.
Psst! Most people think we were in Vietnam TOO LONG! That's why when they say Iraq's turning into another Vietnam they mean it like it's a bad thing!

that's why I need a nuclear program-- it's me active compensatory factor!

vote baby

vote!

Rapture by blondie?

I'm trying to restrain my glee about the whole Ted Haggard business until there's more solid evidence, but man-oh-man would I enjoy seeing this guy, well, I almost said "go down". You know what I mean.
Everything I read about this sorta takes the obvious "gay hater who's gay" angle, which, yeah we all love a delicious plate of hypocrisy, but this guy is rotten in so many other ways that it will be a pleasure to see him humiliated. I mean, IF this all turns out to be true.
Long ago I read this Harper's article about the guy and his church. Haggard regularly has the ear of the Prez and present at meetings and signings that he really had no business, as a preacher, being at. Which is weird, but downright scary when you consider that Haggard and his church believe in hastening the end times and believe in the destruction of Islam. Not Muslim extremists, mind you. The whole dang religion. Apparently it's part of the epic struggle that occurs in these end times of theirs, giant people in the clouds punching each other out or whatever they think goes on.
So all's I want to say is that, whether or not he got himself a little rough rent, the guy and his church are out where the buses don't run and are also very powerful and influence policy- and that should be talked about.
I would, however, like to try out for the Thou Shalt Laugh Comedy Tour. Have you heard the one with the punch line "I can see my house from up here"?