The Monk Bought Lunch

break it up break it up break it up!

Gun-bearing militants in training camps are also shown, followed by the stark message: "These are the stakes. Vote November 7th."

I only wish they'd had Kurtis Blow do the voiceover:
These are the stakes!

(Tanx, Titivil)

plush metal

Legacy of Death

so much good news

I am just so relieved that the terrorist threat against NFL stadiums is "noncredible".

Think of the diseases that would never be cured. (via deadspin, via Titivil)
As for the other exciting news, I'll just say keep your eye on Antigeist for details, and, uh, A & G? Try not to let that boy stain his future hand-me-downs too much, thanks.

Here's a sentence that will live in my brain for quite some time

"Can you believe the amount of yeti I'm laying down for you people?"
(via Blort Everlasting)

aw, look!

Bill Murray thinks he's people!

This ain't no foolin' around

Well, CBGB finally closed, another victim of runaway greed on the part of New York's homeless.
The Bowery Residents Committee, which provides services to the homeless and drug addicts, has callously placed their needs above the desires of aging punks and young mediocre musicians to indulge their nostalgia or have a smelly dive in which to Blink 182 all over the place.
At long last, The Bowery Residents Committee, have you no sense of decency?

I don't understand kids these days

Teenager Plays Video Game Just By Thinking.

Harumph. Big deal, when I was his age I could undress Phoebe Cates just by thinking.

OMG! this happened on... a date!

Of course I'm refreshing every ten minutes on this aircraft crash, and I just read an AP story that says this is happening "exactly one month after the fifth anniversary of the Sept. 11 terrorist attack".
'Course, if it'd happened yesterday, it would've been exactly one day shy of one month after the fifth anniversary...
Etc.

petulance plus flatulence= fletulance? platulence?

I'm not one for hero worship. However, this man? Unequivocally, my hero.
I've never been prouder to be half Polish.

i'm really more of a felonious punk

In honor of his birthday, a more spherical Monk in action:

I think I found your problem...

it's rubber and it quacks:

whatchoo got against shaun cassidy?

Ran across this on Metafilter, and I'm sure it'll be all over the place before long, but only because it deserves to be. And I wanted to make sure you got it in time to watch it repeatedly over the weekend, as I will be doing:
Battle of the Bands

it takes a big man. a morbidly big man.

Hastert takes responsibility for doing nothing wrong:
"I'm deeply sorry this has happened and the bottom line is we're taking responsibility"
I guess this is the footnote below the "bottom line":
"I haven't done anything wrong".

i know you are, but what am I?

Projection. n.- The attribution of one's own attitudes, feelings, or desires to someone or something as a naive or unconscious defense against anxiety or guilt.

how about them apples, extended dance remix

So yeah, the wife and I took in a little small town Americana yestiddy.
We drove out to Hilton NY, to visit the annual Apple Festival. Remember, I said it was little wet? Here's a little pictorial to flesh things out a bit.
The wife wanted to hit an ATM, but this was the only place we found that had one:

I told her I thought I probably had enough cash on me to get by on. No sense in bothering Gunny.
We had to park at the local high school and take a bus into town. The architecture of the high school inspired me to make the pictures look like old postcards:

One of the people in the picture below is my wife. The others are just a bunch of clowns:

Can you guess which is which?
There were lots of horrible crafts for sale, like birdhouses in NFL colors, but I kind of liked these beer can airplanes:

I think maybe this was supposed to be Janet Jackson, if she were made out of gourds:

And speaking of gourds:


That pumpkin weighed over 400 pounds. That's alot of pie. I said to the guy, "what's the matter, you couldn't find the pumpkin festival?".
No I didn't.
Good day all around- we sampled lots of wonderful food, and came home with a kickass pie, a jug of cider (also kickass), and mud on our pants and shoes (kick ass!).

ps- funny the things you don't notice when you're snapping a shot and only see when you look at the picture later. For instance, the man in the photos above is whittling a remote control. I did not know that was how they were made.

how about them apples?

I will more completely blog you about this later, but for now how about a Johnny Carson-stylee teaser.
Me, as Johnny: Well, the Hilton NY Apple Festival was pretty wet this year...

You, as audience: How wet was it?

Me, as Johnny with mystical picture-conjuring abilities: This wet.