The Monk Bought Lunch

"Don't come and bother us, because we will kill you". Come to think of it, that'd look pretty good on a banner!

Why aren't things going so good in the Middle East? Hey, let's ask president Bush!

They just got a different tool to use than we do: They kill innocent lives to achieve objectives. That's what they do. And they're good. They get on the TV screens and they get people to ask questions about, well, you know, this, that or the other. I mean, they're able to kind of say to people: Don't come and bother us, because we will kill you.

Ah, right. Damn their hides for, uh, using different... TV screens... this, that or the other... we will kill you...
Wait. WHAT?!

ps- life is not a highway*

Note to Tom Coburn, R-OK (Rok?)
While it may be true that teenagers work about fifty percent of the time, condoms have a much stronger record.

*oh,sorry- wrong guy.

thanks, 'rome conference participants'!

Thanks for sending me that handy new phrase I ordered from the back of Boy's Life!
I will "work immediately to reach with the utmost urgency" the mailbox, with your check.

i double dog dare you

You ever sit down with a bag of snack food, realize immediately that you can hardly stomach said snack food, yet proceed to empty the whole bag into your gaping maw until there's just a greasy you on a crumb-filled couch wallowing in a puddle made of equal parts self-and-snack-food-loathing?
What the hell am I talking about?
Go read this Metafilter post, and the DailyKos blog to which it refers, and the comments on each and then tell me if you don't just want to take some pills that will make you sleep until the internet is no more and everybody's shuffling around naked foraging for nuts and berries.

'Course, snarking about snark about snark is still snark, innit?
I die now.

no matter what it is or who commenced it...

...I'm against it:

Disapproving rabbits.
(via Titivil)

Should be at least as good as Nixon on Laugh-In

Tony Snow on G Dub's visit with the NAACP:

...I think the President wants to make his voice heard. He has an important role to play not only in making the case for civil rights, but maybe more importantly, the case for unity.

Wow. How tone deaf can you get? Does a case need to be made for civil rights? Even if it does, what role has he played in that endeavor? I'm not being facetious here- I can't think of a single initiative the president has fostered or endorsed that relates in any way to civil rights except for those that limit them, but maybe you can and canhelp me out.
Furthermore, if unity were more important than civil rights, wouldn't the North have surrendered? Wouldn't MLK have decided not to stir up trouble?
Speaking of MLK, Snow made reference to the "I Have a Dream" speech, and labelled the civil rights movement of the '60s as one that "paraded not for separatism, but for unity". No, not really. They were parading for equality, Tony. Unity could only happen after equality was achieved. That's why MLK's vision of "little black boys and little black girls" joining hands in Alabama was a dream in 1963. Portraying MLK and the civil rights movement as a bunch of folks that just wanted everyone to get along is exploitative and inaccurate and you know it.
Oh, and Snow says Preznit's not going as part of some craven political strategy to try and get more minority votes for republican candidates, he's going just because "he wants to". Snow never really answers the obvious question of why Bush never wanted to before. It's just a nutty coincidence that "he wants to" during an election cycle. Or maybe he knew that Mfume wouldn't sit still for a backrub.
Here's hoping that the audience at the NAACP convention treat him accordingly, and that George remembers to wear a slicker.

I'd much prefer something to chew

As you no doubt already know, Syd Barrett is dead. Syd was a founding member of Pink Floyd. With them, he recorded about one and a half brilliant albums followed by two of the most harrowing solo albums you'll ever hear, after which he went into a 30-odd year period of seclusion.
In the meantime, Pink Floyd recorded a series of ever more nerve-deadening albums (with such truth-in-advertising titles as "The Delicate Sound of Thunder"-yaaaawn) and performed concerts that were about as much fun as watching the numbers turn at the DMV.
Oh, by the way: Syd was the crazy one.

you cannot release yo'self sittin' down

For your Friday funkin', Graham Central Station on Dahn Kuh-shnuh's Rahk Kahnsuht:
Pt.1:

Pt.2:

Phew!

look everyone! I found a hypocritical wingnut!

The Right Wing News might want to yank this from their The Best Quotes From Ann Coulter's Columns page:

"The New York Times is to be commended for ferreting out Jayson Blair, the reporter recently discovered making up facts, plagiarizing other news organizations and lying about nonexistent trips and interviews. A newspaper that employs Maureen Dowd can't have had an easy time settling on Blair as the scapegoat. Blair's record of inaccuracies, lies and distortions made him a candidate for either immediate dismissal or his own regular column on the op-ed page."

BTW, here is Ann Coulter's regular column, which can be found on the op-ed page of many, er, some newspapers.

In case you're scratching your head about any of this, this oughta clear that itch right up.