The Monk Bought Lunch

buggin' out

I'm not normally squeamish about bugs. They really don't bother me overly much- even cockraoches I can handle. But this morning in my shower? The despised silverfish. I HATE these motherfuckers. I've never encountered a creature that exudes such sheer malevolence. I'm not sure what it is about them- the way they seem to move unnaturally fast so that sometimes you're not even sure you saw them? Or the way they come out of your drain as though if you hadn't been there they would've stayed in their slimy subterranean lair- they came out just to fuck with you. Maybe it's because you can't seem to kill them by stepping on them- it's like they are able to conform to the contours of your tread so that when you pick your foot up they scurry away to torment you again. Even when you squish them with a tissue and flush them down the toilet you get the feeling you've only dealt them a minor setback.
I've always had friends who say about one creature or another something along the lines of "I wouldn't mind if they were wiped off the planet" and I usually respond with some sort of defense of said creature. Ants, though I may not want them in my house, are undeniably nifty bugs- look at the complex societal structure, the sort of Borg mentality with which they carry out their monumental tasks. Bees, wasps, hornets, etc.? Potentially dangerous but pretty cool. It's a matter of mitigating fascination and a creature's place in the ecosystem, ie. spiders eat other insects so they're okay.
Silverfish, though, can all go to Hell. I don't care what they do, whatever benefits they may bestow on humanity and the world, I want them to die. All of them. Goddamn silverfish.
Oh, and get this: they can go a year without food!
GODDAMN SILVERFISH.

yes, "when justice is gone, there's always force"

The mysterious proliferation of Superdudes takes an ugly turn:
Man In Superman Costume Attacks Motorists

o superman...

'Cause when love is gone, there's always justice.
And when justive is gone, there's always force.
And when force is gone, there's always Mom. Hi Mom!
(Superman gallery via Metafilter)

should i honk if i only understand the part about "longer periods of stasis"?

One of the benefits of working at a university is that you encounter a different class of bumper sticker in the parking lot. This morning there was "HONK IF YOU UNDERSTAND PUNCTUATED EQUILIBRIA!".
Oh, man, that is high-larious. My sides are still hurting.

sort of like the pot calling the kettle 'colored'

I have to agree with the NAACP when they call for state Education Secretary Richard Riordan to resign. Calling a little kid a "dirty, stupid girl" is rude, to say the least, and indicates that he's probably not the right man for his job. One day when she grows up she may ask to be called that- it is California after all- but that should be her decision and one that she shouldn't make until she's reached the age of majority. That said however, I was also taught that it's rude to refer to African Americans as "colored people", so what do I know? As Captain Beefheart once said: "Everyone's colored ... else you wouldn't be able to see them".
(Antigeist got me thinkin' about this, but don't blame her)

the brain, she canna take any more!

The Enterprise's chief engineer's dilithium crystals are running out. His doctors tried shovin' a wiener in the warp drive(scroll down), but it didna do a bi' o'good.
(via TMFTML)

"The milkshake is the cultivation of a suffering given way to risk"

An Aging Kelis, Years From Now, Reflects on a Milkshake Long Expired, But How the Boys, Ah, The Boys Remain

Damn, I wish I'd written that.

this just in: playing 'hide the oscar' proves fatal to porcine rebel

From the dep't of poor timing: Yesterday, London's Evening Standard ran a story with the headline Broke Brando owes £11m , in which it is reported that he hides his oscars from those who might wish to 'garnish' them.
Today, the guy ups and dies. That's one way to keep your creditors at bay.
I'll be in the car. Okay if I play with the radio?

"If I burn up I'm gonna be a log on my own damn fire."

I get the feeling Dong Resin had an unexpected encounter with Captain Beefheart.
I'll be in the car.

can you have virtual social anxiety disorder?

I think I'm gonna stop blogging for a little while and just comment on other people's blogs instead, because it's like when you're at a party and you find that you have nothing to say, but you can respond okay to something somebody else says. Is that alright? Maybe I should just wait in the car.