The Monk Bought Lunch

a thousand violins begin to play

So last night while watching House (which,c'mon, "she pooped from her mouth", how pleased was I to hear that on network TV?), the Fox News promos promised to tell us about "the White House Press Secretary's breakdown"! Well, I don't have to tell you that I started bouncing excitedly on the couch- "Ooh! Ooh! Wha'happen wha'happen?", with visions of, I dunno, Captain Queeg blabbering about the missing strawberries or something, or Snow melting (Snow melting? This is fun already!) into a puddle on the floor leaving only a pointy hat and some pointy shoes.
But I wasn't gonna miss Boston Legal to sit through a whole Fox newscast waiting for the details, so when I got up this morning I couldn't wait to get to the computer and find out about the press secretary's "breakdown".
Well, shit. Turns out the "breakdown" consisted of Snow getting misty (Misty Snow. Isn't she a porn actress?) talking about his battle with colon cancer. That's no fun. Although I s'pose the sooner he gets used to discussing diseased assholes the better.
I'm sure there's an element of "don't be mean to the cancer patient" at work here, and I can only hope it doesn't work, 'cause if your job is to lie obfuscate and mislead in order to defend policies that kill people and/or destroy their lives to further the interests of a few rich mofos, guess what Tony Snow? You are colon cancer. No matter how much you turn on the waterworks.