The Monk Bought Lunch

will monk complain about news shows again? the answers may surprise you!

I guess in an attempt by Fox to convince us that their "local" news anchors are human and actually do stuff, they produce these news segments in some giant underground lair carved into a mountain and then send them to the affiliates to plug the local anchors into. "Insert local anchorbot reciting scripted info here". Then they advertise that this segment will be on the next airing of the evening news. But they don't just advertise it- they advertise the living shit out of it. Every single commercial break on our Fox channel consists of one car dealership ad, at least one ad for injury lawyers (and not to get off track, but do most cities have as many of these as we do, or are Rochestarians just constantly falling down manholes and having anvils dropped on their heads or something? How are there enough injuries that are someone else's fault to support all these guys?), and one ad for the latest hardnosed Fox report on, say, "turkey makes you sleepy" or "your child's car seat makes a lousy sled", or, increasingly lately, something along the lines of "how to tell if Our Lord God really likes you".

Whatever it is, it's telling that, with everything going on in the world, and even though Fox puts the word "news" on the name of the show that comes on every evening and has the people behind the desk (actually, come to think of it, I think Fox has scrapped desks- desks are for eggheads- on Fox we just sort of hang out and report the "news), the segments that they choose to tout are not only not news, but they're virtually content-less.

Take yesterday's. The commercials trumpeted, "Did you know there are chemical and psychological reasons we like to shop?".

Whoa Nelly.

I hate- HATE it when my television asks me questions and won't allow me to answer them. Because yes, my friendly appliance, I do know that when we like things it's because we derive pleasure from them and that pleasure is the result of activity in the brain. Chemical and psychological activity. Now, as it happens I do NOT like to shop, but there are other things I like to do, and I'm betting that for every one of those things there is a chemical and psychological reason that I like them.

I can just imagine a bunch of slick-haired weasels sitting around a board room at Fox saying things like "let's really push that shopping story, the one with the tautology about pleasure- the kind of idiots that watch our channel eat that shit up. Most of them probably think they like to shop because it pleases the fairies that live in their tum tums. Oh- speaking of eating, did you know that flavor is the result of chemical activity in your mouth? Hey, let's do that next week!".

Posted by monk at 12.12.05 09:09