"I haven't made up my mind about social security". Okay, well, there are some complexities, I guess. I mean not really, it's just another stick-em-up, but I guess there's some room for debate.
"I haven't made up my mind about Iraq". Well, if you're still on the fence about this one I doubt there's much I could tell you that would knock you off. Still, you could say something about getting rid of Saddam and he was a bad man and all that and I wouldn't necessarily be forced to initiate a whoopin'.
"I haven't made up my mind about the Patriot Act". Well, now you're pushing it, but I could still probably keep my fists in my pockets as you spout the usual rubbish about sacrificing some liberties in the interest of national security. "I HAVEN'T MADE UP MY MIND ABOUT LYNCHING"? ? ? ?!
My foot would be forced to make an appointment with your ass.
Look, Senator, maybe you didn't read this right. It says we're sorry for not making lynching a federal crime, thereby turning a blind eye to the murder of thousands of African Americans. Oh, you DID read it right. Woops! Was that your head I just caved in? I'm sorry, sometimes when I carry a lead pipe my hand just gets all sweaty and I accidentally swing it in a roundhouse motion until it meets an obstacle.
Sorry. See how easy that is?
UPDATE: Here's a list of the luminaries who refused to sign. They've got a lot of 'splainin' to do!
