Monk

Brilliant. That made my morning. Thanks.

Those are fantastic! Almost makes me want to buy a cutting board. Mind you, I don't cook, so it would just kind of sit there looking pretty.

As a chirpy little heather blossom growing in the hills and meadows which seperate England and Scotland, I often found myself enchanted for hours by dear old mums wildly hairy vagina, and Henckels Birch Cutting block. How merrily we would nance, the board and I, through that untamed thicket, prancing like newly fire branded polo ponies, larking about, soiling our knee caps and chasing bunny rabbits, the board ever stiff and firm, a veritable surface of wonder.
Ofcourse the directions for care never did say what to do about that awful "shlupping" sound, but as any good board owner knows, frequent lubrication with a smoothing mineral oil...

i can't go on. Please forgive me.

The cutting board is the cultivation of a suffering given way to risk.