Mom: Your cousin Kelly had her baby!
Me: Oh. Everything went well, then? Everybody healthy?
Mom: As far as I know. She's here at the hospital (where my mom works-ed.). I'll go see her.
Me: Well, if people feel like they have to do that, then I'm glad it went well.
Mom: (Silence)
Me: Heh.
Mom: Well. On that note- have a nice day.
Y'know, people have babies more often than not! How excited do you want me to be? I get excited about people not having babies- you call me up and say "guess who didn't have a baby?" and I'll be all like "Wait! Don't tell me! Let me guess!".
But what do you want from me? "Your cousin had a baby!" "Well, that makes sense- she was about nine months pregnant. Isn't that about when they usually come out?".
Look, I got nothing against children. I'm just saying you can have a perfectly good parade without dragging me off my porch to march along.