Monk

i don't feel tardy

A couple people have remarked on the absence of updates here. Mind you, they weren't complaining, but:

New band name: The Downer Cows.

The FDA has banned Ephedra, after several states and most sports organizations have already done so, and after most retailers had already pulled ephedra products from their shelves. Next on the FDA's agenda: banning the use of cocaine as an ingredient in Cola.

Maud Newton e-mailed me this tagline from a news story: A skinny rapist met his match in an angry, 275-pound prostitute, police said. It just goes to show you- there's someone for everyone.

Everyone and their fat cousin has linked to the story about the guy who was buried under the piles of books and magazines in his apartment for two days. It reminds me of the time I spent a weekend reading Pynchon's Mason and Dixon.

Oh, and then there's this: Reading almanacs is now suspicious activity. What am I supposed to read when I take a shit now, the Anarchist Cookbook? In a related story, Tom Ridge is now using Wooly Caterpillars to determine the likelihood of a terrorist attack.

Well, that's all I gots. Here's hoping you enter the new year like a newborn babe; naked and wet, being spanked by a stranger wearing a mask.

Posted by monk at 31.12.03 08:47