MonkIt is now safe to turn off your computer.26.11.03Monk's dyspeptopian i'd like a breast please tureen of horoscopesYour Birthday Today: That doesn't mean you get out of doing dishes, shithead. Taurus: I saw her first and you knew I liked her! Is this how you like to be treated, Susan? Y'know if you ever think about marrying someone with, oh I don't know, A JOB I'm right here! Gemini: I didn't total it! I didn't total it! SHUT UP! It was a crappy old Skylark and it was still drivable! Cancer: Oh, god, please don't start with the Amos n' Andy impressions... Leo: Y'know, your shit has been up in my face since Day One. Virgo: That's not your wine glass- it's a floating candle and it's lit IT'S LIT I SAID! Libra: Stop squinting at your fork, bitch. It's clean. Scorpio: Being seated between your aunt and your cousin doesn't give you the right to put a hand on each of their thighs. Sagittarius: Have you never told your children where balls are and not to punch them? Capricorn: Where's your Capricornucopia? Aquarius: Oh, you wanna know where you should put the tofurkey you brought? See that hole in the sink? Pisces: Hey, you're the one who volunteered to sit at the kid's table... Posted by monk at 26.11.03 15:15 Comments
i've often wondered what it would be like to wear a hat fashioned after a cornucopia of fruit. it seems to me that someone on that old good timey southern-ish program about donkeys, buckteeth and yokelism had donned one for a time. i often admired that person. it seems to me that a person that wears a hat fashioned after a cornucopia of fruit is a champion of sorts...a champion if you will...and you probably won't...of bounty...bounty in all of its many delicious ways. Posted by: chet apes at 29.11.03 00:52Dear Mr. Apes- I have often wondered what it would be like to wear a hat fashioned after your Mom! i think also that a pineapple hat would be fine...fine like precious metals, only not metal but fruit and also hat. i believe that i might cast the broadest smile beneath such a hat. and that by smiling, i would touch many others like some sort of exotic fog light of happiness. in turn, said peoples might dance a firey mambo or an exciting rhumba as an exclamation upon this feeling. Plato would have done well to have added a rhumba sequence to his "cave" allegory. Posted by: c. apes at 30.11.03 00:51WHO'S SHOES ARE THOSE? FOR THE LOVE OF GOD I DON'T THINK I CAN REMAIN IGNORANT ANY LONGER, I MUST BREAK THROUGH! Posted by: IF ITS APES YOU WANT, IT APES YOU'LL GET at 30.11.03 21:15Post a comment
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