Have you ever met someone who's always offering to give people massages or (I hate this word) backrubs, but they're just terrible at it? Like they start yanking pinching and poking you and saying "How's that" and you feel like your flight-or-fight instinct is in overdrive? That's what I feel like when I go to Amazon.com and they try to present me with "my recommendations", or otherwise try to shove stuff at me they think I'd like. It's like someone brought you a pair of slippers and they're three sizes off, and you didn't want your slippers to begin with.
That is not the "page Monk made". I bought something from you- once. I didn't make anything.
And no, I'm not going to accompany you to that party your ex-boyfriend will probably be at. And no, I won't call you later. Get off my jock, Amazon!