Monk

Hello hooray let the show begin it's the horoscope already.

Your Birthday Today: The stripper they got for you will be your cousin. Oh. Hi. Wow, this is weird...

Aries: Aries, Aries, Why ya buggin'?
Taurus: Soup is indeed good food. But not for fish.
Gemini: Today, you discover that pussy incense and the real thing smell not at all alike.
Cancer: A squid eating dough in a polyethylene bag is fast and bulbous- got me?
Leo: Damn, girl! Yo shit be up in my face!
Virgo: Virgoing. Virgone.
Libra: People get horny watching your nostrils flare.
Scorpio: Quit looking at Libra's nostrils.
Sagittarius: Look, all I'm saying is that midgets don't have to be talented to make it in show business. Yes, a lot of them are! Fine! I'm just saying- if you're a midget someone will hire you to be in a TV show. So quit feeling so sorry for them.
Capricorn: I love those cute little Irish Capricorns with their shillelaghs and their derbies, making all kinds of mischief...
Aquarius: "Water Carrier", eh? That excuse may work for a little while, but some day you're gonna have to get on a treadmill or somethin', dude.
Pisces: Today, somebody will think they saw you.

Posted by monk at 27.10.03 14:05