wow, that was fast!

If you're down in the South Street Seaport neighborhood today, say hi to my town's new "fast ferry", which managed to crash before we even got it. When I first heard about this, I assumed it was an April Fool's gag, but when you live in Rochester it's April Fool's Day all year long.

Listen to the ferry captain reporting the accident
(Okay, that part's fake)

Monk's weekly horoscope

Your Birthday Today: Your hard work and determination this past year has really paid off. Give yourself a big pat on the back!

Aries: Relationships with family members take center stage today.
Taurus: Romance is right around the corner.
Gemini:A long-lost friend will contact you.
Cancer: You will find satisfaction in completing that project you've been working on.
Leo : Take some time today to collect your thoughts before making your next move.
Virgo: Curl up with a good book!
Libra: It's a good time to start a new health regimen.
Scorpio:Keep that legendary temper of yours in check, and you'll make progress with your new romantic interest!
Sagittarius : Today, work on your listening skills.
Capricorn:Do something nice for an older person today.
Aquarius:Spend some time outdoors.
Pisces: Don't be afraid to try a new look!

Late-nite Talk Show monologue joke, pertaining to assholes

So they made a movie about George W. Bush having a colonoscopy. Yup, it's called Internal Spotshine of the Sunless Mind.
*straighten tie, fiddle with ear, "when we come back- Shelley Winters!"*