Seriously…did you think a baby was going to make me gracious?

The only downside of having the birth of my child magically erase my name from the familial shitlist—where I have languished for years, happily—is that it automatically placed me back on their ‘people to email every stupid joke, chain smile-letter, totally made up product/scam warnings, precious life lesson things could be worse story, cutesy pictures of babies and puppies’ list.