The milk of human kindess has expired.

I am no stranger to the dark side of human nature. I have been eye witness to unspeakable crimes perpetrated upon others, I have been victimized myself; numerous times. I won't say I've seen it all, but damn-near most of it. The gaps have been filled by people I love who, sadly, have had the few bad experiences I lack. Simply, I am the opposite of sheltered. I do not expect, but am always prepared for the worst. Very little surprises me. I am not easily ruffled. That said:

This guy stole my cab a few days ago and I'm still freaked out about it. Why so shaken by--c'mon sissy pants, there are real troubles in the world, right?--a stolen cab? It's hard to articulate. It's how the whole situation was so beyond the average level of shitty-human behavior you encounter on a daily basis in this town, or anywhere for that matter. The pointed, soulless nature of the act. The misogynistic psycho-sexual field day of it all.

The scene: Mom and I in front of the baby super store where we had been shopping for the million little things (salves and sinus sucker-outers and thermometers) I'm told I should have on hand before little G arrives, which could be any second now. So two package laden ladies--one mature woman, and one VERY PREGNANT, obviously fatigued (evidenced by the waddling and wincing on each footfall) woman--patiently standing on a corner of seventh avenue at the off-duty, shift-change time of day when it's nearly impossible to catch a cab.

Yet, lo! Our patience paid off. Finally a cab driver pulled over to where we stood. I reached for the door handle, a Weeble-shaped figure emerged from behind, pushed passed my mother, then wedged itself between my own sizable belly and the door. It wasn't one of those "it happened so fast" moments. I knew exactly what was going on, I was aware a man was stealing our cab. But a combination of sheer disbelief and exhaustion prevented me from doing anything about it. Instead of fighting I froze, so repulsed by him, by it all, so are you fucking kidding me?, wearing the expression of one being Punk'd, all of which gave him the opportunity to wedge his ass into the cab fully.

As he forced his way into the seat I said, rhetorically, "Wow. You're really doing this. You're actually stealing a pregnant woman's cab." No inflection of question in my voice. I was simply stating my understanding of the facts.

"Yep, I sure am." He answered proudly. He was proud of himself. He was grinning, for fuck's sake. Victorious! He'd successfully stolen a cab from an exhausted, overheated pregnant woman! He added his (excuse? reasoning?), "Hey, it's New York. Where anything can happen."

My big retort into his grinning fat face? "Wow." I then glanced over to my mom who had also played out the fruitless fight scenes and what-the-fucks in her head, too. She only had breathy wows left as well.

Posted by Antigeist at September 25, 2006 12:23 PM