Everyone poops.

G's a little bit more into the going's on of the stars than I am. However everyone is by comparison, if you take "into" to mean "pays any attention at all." I'm way more interested in what that old woman across the street is up to--the one who is endlessly arranging and rearranging of her garbage bags and garbage bins, by size, weight, color, who knows. All day, all night, with the garbage...what the hell is THAT about?--over keeping up with Hollywood.

I always thought my lack of interest had to do with having musician parents. Something about understanding at a very young age that entertaining is a job. That some folks mow lawns or fix plumbing or teach classes, and others get up on stages or in front of cameras and do stuff. I always knew, like the famed children's book says, everyone poops. Which is the one great joy I get from shows like the Oscars...watching the parade of gowns traveling down the red carpet and guessing what they have to go through to use to toilet while wearing them. My aunt got married in one of those super princess for a day pouffy white beaded things with a train, and she needed four assistants to use the toilet. I use that gown as my gauge. "Here comes Charlize Theron in a (three potty assistant) gown designed by..." "And here, the lovely Keira Knightley in a Vera Wang (gotta take that whole bad-boy right off, two assistant) gown..." "Just arriving, the very pregnant Rachel Weisz, wearing a (looks practical and stretchy, I say she can lift that thing up herself. No assistant and therefore the winner of the most attractive) gown designed by..."