Aging gracefully

Since Zeeb went and let the old birthday swan out of the bag, yep, it's meh berfday.

However I've been lying about my age for so long now, I had to get out the calculator this morning to figure out which birthday it was. I discovered I am a full four years younger than I thought; what a nice present. See, I've always lied about being older. It started at fifteen, and having to memorize the name, address, and birth-date from my fake ID so I could pass the interrogations of correctly suspicious bouncers. But I kept it going, and boy has it payed off. Tell people you're five years younger than you are, and you're opening yourself up to all kinds of tongue wagging about how you haven't aged well. But add five years? Or more? Trust me, you'll get tired of hearing how great you look, what great shape your in, and the advances from little hipsters twenty years your junior looking to catch the older woman, yet-so-hot-for-her-age train.

It's a real esteem booster, let me tell ya. Just don't add too many years. Then everyone will gossip about what kind of (and how much) "work" you've had done.