We are home safe and sound... as one can be after a visit with family. Luckily our jinxed ever-changing travel plans kept the family portion of the trip to a minimum. Not that they need to see me in order deliver a dose of the familial passive-aggression mind you--like this email from my aunt, received the night we'd arrived: "I ran into (monk) at Wilson Farms a few minutes ago, he mentioned he'd been visiting you at M and H's. Hope you had a nice visit!"
I will translate for those of you who are not fluent in passive-aggressive jab-speak, what she really said was: Too bad I accidently bumped into one of your friends (who are obviously more important to you than your family) and ruined what I assume is your plan to slip out of town without so much as a phone call. The "Hope you had a nice visit!" line loosely translates to 'you piece of shit', however the addition of the exclamation point changes the meaning slightly, to 'fuck you'.
Yeah. Good times. I answered in kind of course. "Yes, we had a wonderful time last night. M and H weren't expecting us until the weekend, so it was great of them to make room for us in their apartment and arrange dinner with monk on such short notice. I'm looking forward to seeing your new house while we're here!"
Translation: Our plans changed, which you'd know if you ever contacted me for any other reason than to make me feel like shit. And since no one in my family has ever invited me to stay with them, yeah, we were spending time with the folks who do. You tend to see the people who WANT to see you. Funny thing that. Oh, and that excuse you used to use? About not having room for us? Well you've moved to a four bedroom house, so what's the fucking excuse now?
And that was just one relative. So if you saw me crying in the crosswalk last night after some guy screamed "Watch where the fuck you're going!" from his car, I wasn't crying because he hurt my feelings or pissed me off. They were tears of joy at finally hearing someone say exactly what they mean.
Y'know, as soon as that was out of my mouth I was all like "shit! I just know that's not gonna be good!". Sorry.
Posted by: monk at August 2, 2005 02:43 PMNo apology necessary. See, I have been away so long I'd forgotten the rules. I'm supposed to travel hundreds of miles, spend untold amounts of money, bend over backward to to accomodate my family's schedule, and act nonchalant when I'm ignored. So it's my fault. I should have called the second I landed so SHE could say she was busy.
Posted by: antigeist at August 2, 2005 02:53 PM