So I've got this 'friend' who noticed a number of large, hard, raised, welt-type things on her ankles and calves just as she was retiring to bed two nights ago. And my 'friend' lay there wondering what was their cause, since she'd never had or seen anything like them before. The 'friend' lay there pondering their sudden appearance throughout the night, until the wee morning hours in fact, at which point my 'friend' had convinced herself the mattress the fucked-up gypsies downstairs disposed of in the hallway had infested the whole building with bedbugs, which are now feasting...on...her...flesh. This 'friend' based her conclusion on a few recent news articles, and a horror story told by a friend's friend who suffered from an infestation and eventually lost everything she owned in the process of ridding herself from the vermin. A terrible true story with a face on it. The kind that gives credence to the news stories, and erases any 'it only happens to filthy crack whores' denial.
So this 'friend' of mine, a dear friend mind you, has now collapsed into complete insanity. She's bleached everything she owns and every surface in her home, rendering her wardrobe and apartment a sad unintentional replica of a set from Ishtar. And has spent the two days since scouring the internet for any hopeful lead that said welts are not actually the doing of bedbugs, but some softer, saner thing; an allergic reaction to something she'd come in contact with. Laundry soap perhaps. The dye in the corner Italian ice guy's Italian ices. Sex.
I've tried to get my 'friend' to go to the doctor, since the welts are not going away, not even enjoying the least reduction in swelling; but she insists that there must be a homeopathic approach to the problem. Well, when she's not busy being convinced they are blood clots heading straight for her brain.
What, kind people, should I instruct my 'friend' to do? Wait a few days, let the Benadryl kick in? High-tail it to St. Vincent's? Hit Dana up for a Xanax?
Posted by Antigeist at June 15, 2005 01:42 PM"large, hard, raised, welt-type things on her ankles and calves"?
That's some sex your "friend" is having!
Lance the sores.... that's what 'friends' do.
Posted by: Mere Existence at June 16, 2005 04:53 PMencourage your friend more heartily to go to a doctor. if she doesn't like the doctor's medicine, she doesn't have to take it, but she can still benefit from an old-school medical opinion. like, homeopathy is great, but it doesn't hurt to know what other people think is wrong, too. it might be that the doctor finds something homeopathy can't really treat.
also, don't be dissing on ishtar. i would be happy if i had a zillion dollars with which to go down in history as a big bad spender. also: the expressionless isabelle adjani is nothing to sniff at. tell your friend to invest in bleach.
and we will invest in bleach stocks.
Posted by: anne at June 17, 2005 12:58 AM