While at a party ringing in the New Year, a group of us were discussing how--even though we're halfway through the decade--a consensus has yet to be reached on to what to call these-here single digit years. One fellow--who was so impossibly, unsettlingly handsome you knew there had to be some freaky black magic or genetic manipulation involved (My guess? He was brought to life from the cover of a Calvin Klein underwear package a la 'Weird Science' by some crafty gay teens)--noted that the solution thus far seems to be saying the whole year, as in: "The winner of the two thousand and two award for..." or "I'll graduate in two thousand and six." Another fellow (who I guessed was his lovah, or, if my Frankenstein theory is correct, his "father") said that was usually how he handled the problem, by reciting the whole year, and that even thought it felt clumsy it wasn't as difficult as trying to work 'aught' into a sentence. Because let's be frank--only characters in a Jane Austin novels, or somebody named "Scoop" who reports for "The Gotham Examiner", or Abraham Lincoln can work 'aught'.
But we agreed this decade deserves a jazzy title. We need to be able to look upon these years, the prime of our lives, and say, "Why, back in (what? O five? aught six? ten minus three?)..." We bandied about a few suggestions, all of which were met with a lukewarm reception.
Finally G said, "How about the Double-O's?"
"The Double-O's? Like Double-O five?" Mister 'I was just created from spare doll parts and cardboard' asked. "Yeah." G answered.
We all thought on it. Test drove it a bit by inserting it in random sentences (Did he just say "fashizzle? How Double-O two!). All in all, we agreed it had potential. I mean sure, it kinda sounds like a breakfast cereal, and is dangerously close to being a nod to "dubble-ya", but who cares. It has spunk. Moxi. Still doubtful? Two years from now it'll be double-O seven. I know, stop it. It's too sexy.
So there you go. My gift to you via G...Happy Double-O Five! A brand new year with a new name and a whole new outlook, and much to great dismay of my beloved partner, many, many home improvements! One of which will entail my taking apart my desk and relocating my computer, which means you won't hear a peep round here for quite some time. Already this year brings a cornucopia of blessings, yes?
Posted by Antigeist at January 3, 2005 11:33 AMSeems I'm not as creative as I'd like to think. This issue has already been closely scrutinized by marketers, even. http://www.icrsurvey.com/ICRInTheNews/OG_NewDec.html
Posted by: G at January 3, 2005 03:45 PMOh hogwash. You thought it up. Collective unconscious, only so many ideas in the universe...if you didn't read it anywhere and no one said it in your presence, it was an original thought and you get credit.
You know, like how I discovered Coldplay.
Posted by: G's lesser half at January 5, 2005 11:27 AMI tried to get some momentum going on "zip-zip". Like "Is it 2 zip-zip 5 already?". I know it's a mouthful, but it's a fun mouthful. I think I'll go add that last sentence to my list of Things to Say When you Drop Trou.
Posted by: monk at January 6, 2005 10:10 AMMy new recommendation, in the hope of a hepness revival, is to refer to them as the "Vo-do-de-ohs." "Vo-do-de-oh four was jive, but things'll be jumpin' in vo-do-de-oh five. All reet?"
Posted by: g at January 7, 2005 10:31 AMI have to say that C. Montgomery Burns can work the aught like it ain't no thang.
Posted by: jessica at January 11, 2005 06:02 AM