Entry #363: 100% guaranteed to offend someone.

There's a school for the mentally retarded in my neighborhood. I see the students and their chaperones now and then during their weather-permitting walks, hand in hand with an 'outing buddy' en route to the park or their once-a-month lunch date at the nearby diner. When I was a teacher's assistant at a school for the mentally and physically disabled, this group would have been labled 'low-functioning', ranging from moderate to severe disability. In layman's terms, sans my less-than-expert opinion: these folks have been dealt a monumentally shitty hand.

I saw the students this morning while out walking the dog. You couldn't miss them. Because some brilliant do-gooder thought it would be really fun! and festive! to dress them in oversized, ill-fitting, cheesy red and white Santa-type suits, accompanied by large floppy green hats. The reasoning, I'm guessing, is being stared at and ridiculed the rest of the year is simply not enough. No, you need to be a part of an army of happy elves who have snot freezing on their faux fur, who are tripping over their pant legs and wondering why the fuck every passerby has a face like they just saw a dead kitten in the road. You need to be snickered at by cruel teenagers who cannot wait to release their peals of laughter until you pass. And even though your ability to comprehend or understand a centuries-old Germanic fairy tale is on par with Bush's ability to write a dissertation on Nicomachaen Ethics, you will participate dammit! Get into the spirit of the season! Have fun.

Their chaperones herded the group toward the diner. A waitress, out for a smoke, forced a cheery, "Why look at all the Santas!" as they approached. She was greeted with the reply, "Pancakes" from one of the Santas in the center of the line. They tugged at their garments and filed into the restaurant, delighted, I'm sure.

Posted by Antigeist at December 21, 2004 02:04 PM