Antigeist

Why I'm about to explode, what with all the holiday spirit.

A few clarifications:

1. She's a girl dog, asshole neighbor, so she squats. She was not defecating on that precious square of broken glass and candy wrappers you feel ownership of (city property, I'll point out)--although I'm sure it appeared so from your spectacular vantage/screaming point three floors up and a half-block away. I assure you, when she does empty her bowels I always pick it up, no matter the risk to life and limb.

2. In the past week we've had people over three times, a house guest, and celebrated two birthdays. So the like twenty empty bottles of booze I just put to the curb for recycling? NOT my personal weekly intake. Nosy fucking garbage assessing eyebrow raising bitch.

3. The traffic light (outside my bedroom window) is not equipped with a car horn sensor designed to turn the light from red to green at the behest of your blares. Nor does your incessant honking make it any less dangerous, stupid, or illegal for the person ahead of you to run the red light at which they are stopped--what one must assume you are demanding they do, since there is no other logical or reasonable explanation for laying on your horn and screaming out the window at someone who is simply obeying the fucking traffic laws. How do I know that is their motive? Because ass-face, they--now listen carefully--they put their car into motion when the light turned green. See, they stopped at the red light, and continued on when it turned green, which, crazy as it seems, had fuck-all to do with you or your noise--it's the law around these parts. To recap: Your horn does not effect the changing of the traffic signal in any way. Nor does its clarion call suspend the space-time continuum, or the laws of both physics and man. Its only function in a non-emergency situation is to wake me from my first decent slumber in two weeks, and thereby force me--a natural, crackerjack markswoman--to reconsider my decision to never own a gun.

4. When you have a steady customer, someone who frequents your business at minimum four or five times a week, who is always pleasant and kind, who you know by name, whose partner you know by name, know where they live, know they will be back again tomorrow or even possibly later that day, who spend in the hundreds of dollars in your store each month-- and you ring up a purchase for $20.13, and that customer reaches into their wallet to find they only have a twenty and three cents... YOU DO NOT STAND THERE DOE EYED, SHRUG YOUR SHOULDERS AND INFORM THEM OF THE WHEREABOUTS OF A FUCKING ATM MACHINE. Spot them the dime, for Christsakes. They will be in again, and give it to you. I, however, will use the ATM machine you so kindly pointed out to get money to spend elsewhere.

5. Many elderly people in my neighborhood augment their income by fishing through garbage to find returnables. They are not homeless, they live here. They are clean, their clothes are in decent repair, they wear gloves to protect their hands, have their own carts and occasionally grandchildren in tow. People who have worked all their lives--pulling a coke can we mistakenly threw away out from under our coffee grounds and foam meat packaging and cigarette butts. It is heartbreaking. The saddest commentary of how we treat the aged, what our priorities are as a nation. A new culture of poverty just a notch above homelessness made up of those who did work, who did save, but who can't work anymore, and couldn't have possibly saved enough. If you catch their eye while they are digging in a pile of waste, they are ashamed. I'm ashamed. But you? You who live on my street, who come flying out of your homes enraged, screaming, demanding they go away, who threaten to call the police? You who have forgotten that these are your neighbors, that their children went to school with yours, that they attend the same church, that they are just as horrified to be in their position as you are to witness it? You who swear and belittle and complain and explode because your beloved garbage was disturbed? You?

I hope you choke on your fucking Turkey

Posted by Antigeist at November 24, 2004 03:18 PM