...you go to your neighborhood liquor store, the helpful sales clerk says "Hey, we had another wine tasting last night, you missed it." you smile, politely, say something about not knowing about it, she produces three bottles from beneath the counter with about a spit of wine in the bottom of each one and says, "Here's what's left. There's not much but...maybe you want 'em" and you bristle, internally combat the urge to ring the girls neck for insinuating you could 'use' the dregs of yesterdays tasting (that weren't even properly re-corked you might add), I mean, how dare she?
Well yeah, you take the wine, but boy do you fume about it on the walk home, let me tell you.
you know you're a drunk when...your family tree has one branch! Oh wait, that's a redneck. Still, pretty funny, huh?
Posted by: Jeff Foxworthy at May 3, 2004 03:57 PMWhat the fuck ever happened to that guy? (foxworthy). Musta had the porch collapse and kill all'a his kin. AND the dogs.
Posted by: antigeist at May 3, 2004 04:09 PMWell...don't keep us in suspense: How was the wine??
Posted by: Vidiot at May 3, 2004 09:17 PMDunno Vid. After I mixed the three together and found it was less than a glass, and poured in a bit of the old magum-o-rotgut to top it off...wait...now you know too much.
Hey! Isn't there some big blogger event tonight? What the hell you doing home? *Hoping the abrupt subject change went unnoticed*
Posted by: antigeist at May 3, 2004 10:34 PMPfui. I already posted about why I wouldn't be going.
Posted by: Vidiot at May 4, 2004 01:38 AMI don't think you're truly a drunk as long as they still let you in the store. At the store I work at on the weekends, when one of the neighborhood drunks walks in I just point at the door and say "out". I'm way too hung over to deal with a bunch of drunks.
Posted by: monk at May 4, 2004 09:37 AMPfui. I already posted about why I wouldn't be going.
I read (enjoyed and agreed with) that post. You know my stance on the subject. Don't get me started.
Posted by: antigeist at May 4, 2004 10:13 AMAt the store I work at on the weekends, when one of the neighborhood drunks walks in I just point at the door and say "out".
That's you? I should have introduced myself, I guess.
Posted by: Vidiot at May 4, 2004 12:22 PMThat was you? Hey Vidiot, don't take this the wrong way, but you stink! Nice tin foil hat, though.
Posted by: monk at May 4, 2004 04:08 PMClearly you need to shop at more wine stores. I hit each of mine no more than once a week. Only my friends and neighbors know I'm a drunk.
Posted by: Max at May 5, 2004 06:30 PMAn already implimented tip, Max. However, I gave up the ruse after NYC insisted we put our glass recycling in clear plastic bags. When the whole damn world can see your garbage to bottle ratio is about 8:1; the jig is kinda up at that point, n'est ce pas?.
Posted by: antigeist at May 5, 2004 07:44 PMTwo words: box wine.
Recyclable, folds flat, you can put 'em between the newspapers, AND you don't have to worry about shards of glass puncturing your tender flesh when you're falling-down pissed.
Posted by: Vidiot at May 6, 2004 01:02 PMI read somewhere (NOT in Wine Enthusiast I can assure you) that a few of the *better* wineries were planning to package their best sellers in the popular box form. I have yet to see a Box-O-Château Mouton Rothschild, however.
But thanks for the tip. Sadly you can't even get Franzia or Peter Vella box wine from my walking distance houses O'booze.
(To the die hard wine-o's...Peter Vella. The picture on the box. Al Gore's Queer-Eye doppelganger, am I right?)
Posted by: anti at May 6, 2004 01:59 PM