I'm so freaking overworked and brain dead these days I suggest you just skip this and head straight to Dana's (semi-anonymous?) website cuz girlfriend is on Fye-Ya. And although this might not help her stalker quotient...believe the hype. I'm straight and I think about her perfect ass at least twice a day.
So we're moving. Put the down payment on the new place and ya-de-la-de-ho. And as proof that we are, in fact, the worlds most perfect tenants, our landlord has called three times offering to reduce our rent if we would agree to stay. He's bereft of heart, I tell you. I heard a tiny tear run from his eye. I imagine the path to his chin thawed a bit from contact with something above freezing.
Anyone looking for a place BTW? No, really, it's fucking great here. If you like hell.
In other news: My friend monk likes to talk about how people are talking too much about nipples. I suggest you go to his site anyway. If for no other reason than to see "Nipplegate" and "Boobapalooza" in print." Because its funny to talk about boobies. Boobies, boobies, boobies. See? Boobies. Damn. Can't stop. Boobies.
Preview for tomorrow: During a conference call, I will try to convince a certain German automobile manufacturer to NOT use the over-played Outkast Hey-Ya tune in an upcoming promotional event. I will fail. I will also fail at convincing them I need a demo roadster for 'artistic inspiration'.
And then the full moon, when the tides and the Alpha-Womb (ask her for the story) demand I should menstruate. I don't ask questions of the universe, the whys and wherefores. Just get the fuck out of my way on the train tomorrow. No, really.
Posted by Antigeist at February 5, 2004 08:22 PMboobies!
Posted by: monk at February 6, 2004 10:54 AMSee? Catchier than that damn Hey Ya tune.
Speaking of boobies Monk (or breastesees as they are called in our house): as a fella and admirer of the glands, does the size of the breast change what you call them?
For instance, when I hear breasts, or boobs, or knockers, or bazoongas, I think big. And natural. Big floppy old fun bags. The 'ies', like titties and boobies, make me think small, and firm, and natural. Champagne glass and all that. But tits? Rack? I hear tits and rack and think fake. Small, medium or big, but definitely store bought, like a rack of lamb.
Posted by: antigeist at February 6, 2004 11:11 AMWell, this is a subject on which I could rhapsodize endlessly. So here I go. Actually I won't just now, but nomenclature is attached to more than just size. For instance, I use "rack" for the same kind of formations I might use "bosom" for- to me it conjures up an image of a kind of unified shape- not so much two seperate spheres but a bulbous mass across the chest. As for implants, I usually just dismiss them with the clever term "fake-o's".
"Titties" are smallish, "boobies" not necessarily so. Janet's breasteses have on occasion appeared fake to me, but I'd have to call what we saw on Sunday a "booby".
Ahhhh, I see. And you thought you'd never come up with that elusive doctoral thesis topic...
But the bosom thing. Do you ever use bosom, really? No one under seventy has a bosom. [Note to all girlfriends who I have called "bosomy": Yes, I'm suggesting your uni-boob conjours up images of having breast fed a small nation-state. But in the best way.] All I'm saying is I'd like to see you use bosom with a straight face, and have your partner, the bosom owner, not laugh you out of the bed or unexpectedly feel the need to call their grandma.
I only use "bosom" in character. Sometimes when I'm an old guy I use the plural- "bosoms". Because "bosom" already refers to two of something, "bosoms" conjures up an Artemis-like image; somebody who's just covered in boobs. But no, I never use "bosom" with a straight face- I always feel the need to turn my face to the side and take a little nap.
Posted by: monk at February 6, 2004 03:27 PM"Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz"
Posted by: antigeist at February 6, 2004 04:24 PM