Antigeist

Worried about that murder you tried to cover up?

Well, do I have great news! As long as you say you killed the person in self-defense (like, oh... you blew your elderly neighbor's head off during a 'struggle' for a gun), the court says it's no problem to mutilate the corpse, dump it in a bay, and flee the state. No harm, no foul! It's A-O-K!* And don't worry, the jury promises to ignore how your first wife mysteriously disappeared, and how afterward you fled to Texas disguised as a mute female in an attempt to evade all those nagging questions about it, or the 38,000 you like to carry around in your trunk during a Sunday drive (bond-jumping indeed). The defense will even blame your most recent flight on some nosey NY bitch district attorney who's still trying to find out who killed your first wife. What's her deal anyway? You've moved on right? Why can't she?

*invalid defense for anyone whose parents do NOT own Times Square and are richer than God, people of color, and naturalized citizens.