Because hating rich white girls is easy

You know what I'd rather see, more than this shit?, a made for TV movie about Slick Rick's deportation trial. Shot like an old-school MTV video, cameos by Cameo and the Sugar Hill Gang. One with a classic 80's ending culminating in a courtroom scene where, after the final arguments are had and Slick Rick is apparently defeated, the judge (played by Dee Snider) leans over and commands, "The court sees fit to deport you Mr. Rick, unless you can give me ONE GOOD REASON why I should let you stay in these, here United States!" The crowd would hush, the camera would scan the room, settle on a weeping fly girl, or a lone tear hanging off the end of a bereft Humpy Hump's nose. Slick Rick is done for. It's over. The camera pans over to a little girl sitting behind the defense attorney, she hands Slick a mic and whispers "Show him Slick...show him one good reason." Slick takes the mic, smiles (because he knows what he gots to do) jumps up on the table, and begins..."All I have to say judge, is...." at which point turntables appear from beneath the stenographers legs, colored lights fill the room, a beat and, " La-di-da-di, I like to party, I don't cause trouble I don't bother nobody, I'm just a rapper on the mic, and when I'm rockin on the mic I rock the mic RIGHT..." The bailiff, overcome by the groove, rips off her break-away uniform to reveal a thong bikini, starts shaking her thang in the face of the INS agents who had already commenced with the closed-fisted, to and fro swaying white guy dance. Camera cuts to the jury who have mysteriously changed into MC Hammer pants and begun doing the wap in unison. The judge, having totally lost control of the court, screams "Order! ORDER!" while whacking his gavel like a madman. But Slick got that party started quickly...right. He leaps up atop the bench and screams..."If you want me stay-- in the USA-- lemmie hear you say-- 'OH YEAH!'"
"OH YEAH!"
"And if you don't want-- to see me go-- lemmie hear you scream-- 'Hell No!'"
"HELL NO!"
The judge bangs away with the gavel, "Order! Order!" The stripper/bailiff is grinding on the prosecuting attorney, the stenographer is cutting wax like a candle-maker, the jury continue, as per their instructions, to wave their hands in the air like they just don't care. Inside the pandemonium a voice pierces the din "QUIIIIIIEEETTTTT!" A needle scratches across vinyl. Silence.
The judge: "Mister Rick. You have made a mockery of this court like I never see'd before (remember, it's Dee Snider). I have no other choice but to...." The crowd gasps, the room is still (maybe insert the actual sound effect of a pin dropping). Slick Rick stands and waits for what we are sure is his doom.
"but to...LET YOU STAY!!!"

"HORRRRRAYYYYY!" screams the crowd, the music resumes, the judge gets up to get down along side his fellow Americans (and one special one) who showed him a little something about democracy that day.

You know, something like that. Something uplifting.

(link to Slick's trial via Emma, who rocks the party pretty damn hard her own self.)

Posted by Antigeist at October 27, 2003 04:41 PM