Antigeist

Hiding Out

A rainy Saturday afternoon that fits my mood and I couldn't be more pleased. The rain has also given me a stellar excuse to skip all the 'gardening' I had planned for today...'gardening' in single quotes because it's really more 'excavating' the six generations of garbage that obscures the few square feet of dirt behind our apartment. (Insert "Village Ghetto Land" by Stevie Wonder....hear it?...welcome to my world.)

Rain or not, my intention was to stay at home today (all day) anyway, having had more bad run-in's with my fellow Americans this past week than I can process, and out of fear of what might happen to my mental state and arrest record if I don't have a break from them.

The two (but not the worst, just somehow the worst to ME) outstanding exchanges:

1) Elderly man in The Village, walking with a cane, wearing the most, no shit, most amazing shoes I have ever seen...cobalt and light blue patchwork, black trim and sole, in the now-popular bowling-shoe stylie, but not brand new retro shoes... original. God they were just gorgeous. So I paused as I passed him, turned and said "Beautiful shoes" to which he replied, "Fuck you."
Of course he thought I was being insincere, and with good reason. I guess I was getting the 'fuck you' for all the rest of the clever, snide mf'ers who use sarcasm on strangers as a means of masking their inner inferiority complexes. I just loved the shoes, alright? Thought he'd like to know someone out there appreciated his astounding attention to detail. "Fuck you" has a way of stifling one's shoe-joy...and appetite for future human contact.

2) Walking the Boo'da (my dog). A guy approaches and says "What a beautiful dog! Can I pet him? (She's a her, but I never correct people: the whole dog=boy, cat=girl sex specificity thing...)" I say "Sure, she's friendly." So he's petting her and she's jumping around and loving it. He says, "Yeah, I really love dogs." I say "Me too. Especially my girl" and the Boo'da turned to give my face a big lick of appreciation. A nice scene emerged, beautiful Spring light falling all around us, the commonality of man reinforced via scritches and shared dog love, all was right with the world.
Then the guy stands up, meets my eyes, and goes, "Yeah, I sure love dogs... almost as much as I love Pussy"... and winks.

Posted by Antigeist at April 26, 2003 01:52 PM