Antigeist: Mystery of the Universe #47, Revealed

April 02, 2003

Mystery of the Universe #47, Revealed

(a semi-truck screeches to a halt at a red light a few feet from where I'm walking)

Truck driver: *whistle* Hey mommieeeeee! *sucking noise*

Me: (glance toward the driver, glare, turn away)

TD: Awwww Mommie, you don't gotta be like that...

Me: (sharp turn around, hands on hips) I'm curious, does that ever work?

TD: What?

Me: Honestly, I really want to know, does it ever work?... the whistling, the yelling, SUCKING your teeth...

TD: ...wha d'ya mean?

Me: (voice raising)...of the THOUSANDS of women you randomly insult and degrade everyday, has a single one of them EVER asked for your phone number,
or asked you out, or begged you to fuck them right there on the sidewalk!!??

TD: No...

Me: So why...

TD: ...but a chick in Jersey flashed me her tits once.

Me: (genuinely surprised, long pause)
No shit?

TD: (smiles) Yep. (light turns green, he pulls away)

Me: (shrugs) humph.

Posted by Antigeist at April 2, 2003 11:24 AM

Comments

Huh.

The other night I got: Ay, mami- Can I smell your panties?

To be honest, it just made me giggle.

Posted by: zeebah at April 2, 2003 03:28 PM

I find it interesting that these guys seem to routinely employ maternal epithets ('mama', 'mommy') when composing their catcalls.
Isn't that a sentiment best reserved for the analyst's couch?
And what if the guy standing next to them said "Yeah, I'd like to fuck your mother too!"

Posted by: monk at April 2, 2003 03:55 PM

I had a Latino friend of mine once explain the "mommy" phenomonon as originally being a term of appreciation and reverence, as in Mother of Life, Mother Earth, Mother of Our (collective) Children, etc. With all due respect to my pal, I think he may have been full of shit.

I mean, I don't think that guy was thinking "mother earth" when he asked to sniff Zeebah's panties. And if he was then like...eeew.

Posted by: Kd at April 2, 2003 06:48 PM

He asked to sniff your panties... ahh how classy.

I can see it now: 'Used Panty' by Calvin Klein - the epicurean's choice.

Posted by: Siggy at April 3, 2003 02:11 AM

Well, it's not by Calvin, but yes, Virginia (or did I mean vagina?) it already exists.

Posted by: Kd at April 3, 2003 10:28 AM

Wow... oh mah gawd... You've got to be kidding me. Next to the people selling Brass Balls, this has to be one of the most ridiculous internet business ventures ever. Actually I take that back, there is much worse out there, I can only imagine.

I really love this part:

"Many men risk disease by purchasing worn panties on the Net. Why would anyone pay $25 for a stranger's dirty underwear?

It's wonderful that the plights of the used panty trader has finally been recognized. We *cough* err... THEY have been taking these daring risks to obtain quality panty aroma for far too long!

Posted by: Siggy at April 3, 2003 10:37 PM

Thanks for the post.

Posted by: term life insurance at October 5, 2003 06:19 AM