I've become disgusted with the extent to which I can avoid this war. Lately anything (I mean anything) is preferable to actually dealing with this nightmare..."What's that honey? You want me to come and watch the news with you? Okay, I'll be right there, as soon as I'm done re-arranging the books according to spine-width...have you seen the tape measure?" Tedious errands, sinks-full of dishes, even unsolicited phone calls from tele-marketers have become a cause of something resembling joy; at least they postpone the buzzing in my head and sickness in my stomach for a few minutes. However it just occurred to me that the buzzing and sickness might be due to the mass quantities of alcohol I've been consuming daily, which suddenly explains the shit-eating grin on the puss of my wine-store clerk whenever I arrive, and how he has recently acquired the mega-ching for a new luxury SUV.
And it's not that I don't care about the war. Of course I care about the war. How could you NOT care about the war? I'm terrified for the people of Iraq. I'm petrified for our soldiers sent off on this fool's errand. I have real fear for the innocents who will die, and when it is over, a growing fear of the innocents who will have survived over ten years of brutal terrorist attacks by the hands of a far-away aggressor known as "America". (No matter where you fall in the debate over Iraq's [supposed] connection to terror groups like Al Queda, you can bet your ass they're going to make some new friends now.)
But what can I do about it? I've voted my conscience throughout life, I've participated in protests, I've written congress people and legislators. I've signed petitions, preached to the choir, sat in the choir while other's preached. I've read and continue to read the opinion of The Right in an attempt to not only "know thy enemy" but with the hope of finding some common ground upon which we can agree. I pace. I pray.
And I do dishes and reorganize things and write two page blog entries about going to the refrigerator. Because that's about all I can do right now.
Posted by Antigeist at April 1, 2003 11:11 AM